Apparently, this is gross-out week here on the internet, because it wasn’t enough for the news gods to bring us mental images of a Donald Trump colonoscopy, we now have to imagine an extramarital affair between South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem and former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski.
WHY, news gods, WHY?
The right-wing website (apparently legit) “American Greatness” quotes unnamed sources indicating Noem and Lewandowski are “having an extramarital affair.”
“There are members of Congress close to Mar-a-Lago who have called the affair ‘an open secret’ and worried that about Noem’s viability as a national candidate and within the movement,” a source familiar with the matter told American Greatness.
One C&L staffer wonders if the DeSantis campaign planted this possibly true story, which makes sense given it’s sourced as “close to Mar-A-Lago.” Might be Gaetz or some other Florida Congressman who wants to collapse Noem’s Vice-Presidential trial balloons at the outset.
I told you the Republican primaries are gonna be lit! Face it, these are the lowest people on the planet, and they will lie to everyone for money and power. When they have to sling mud at each other to get money and power, they’ll do it.
And I must go back to the fact that we are talking about Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski! There are not enough EW! gifs in the world…
And look, we at C&L have not confirmed this rumor. Nor have we found any evidence it ISN’T true. But if Fox News can go with “we report, you decide”?
On a story like this, it would be irresponsible NOT to “ask the question,” right, Neil Cavuto?
And yes, everyone on Twitter is as grossed out as we are.
Corey Lewandowski & Kristi Noem are the Jason Miller & Marjorie Taylor-Greens of Mark Sanford & Maria Belen Chapurs.
— GeeGee (@GeeGeeAkili) September 29, 2021
If Kristi Noem is having an affair with Corey Lewandowski, it is so beyond ICKY.
Cooties Cooties Cooties!
Here’s her husband with his eyes closed: pic.twitter.com/OTzPNVlXOU
— JJ sub-12 “Time Traveling Reporter” (@7th_Body) September 29, 2021
If Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski had a love child it would basically be Charlie Kirk.
— 💀DeathMetalViking💀 (@DeathMetalV) September 29, 2021
This is former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski:
▪️Assaulted Joy Villa & Michelle Fields
▪️Said “I have no obligation to be honest with the media”
▪️Offered Trump pardons for $1M to criminals
▪️Adulterous affair w Kristi Noem?#FamilyValues #HopeHicks pic.twitter.com/gtPxD1Ojip
— BigBlueWaveUSA 2022 #StopVoterSuppression (@BigBlueWaveUSA) September 29, 2021
OK – how do Jason Miller and Corey Lewandowski keep getting laid?
GOP women have super-low standards, I guess.
— Rokey *No Unity Without Accountability* 🇺🇸 (@rokeypdx) September 29, 2021
I discussed this last question with my husband Driftglass. He pointed out that the combination of a very small sex pool, power, money, horrible politics …and gotta keep her secret — whoops on that last one, if true!
ALLEGEDLY all over this post, the end.